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Gifted Items
Gel Pens - A package of glittery gel pens! (Received from Jeremy)
Red Poppy - A simple red flower. It makes you think of someone you love. Will they wait for you? (Left on Riley's grave)
Edelweiss x2 - A small white flower contained in a glass vial. It'll greet you every morning. (Left on Red's grave)
Roses x2 - A bouquet of red roses for a job well-done. (Left on graves)
Red Rose - A single red rose, such as one might offer as a token of love. (Left on graves)
Red Poppy x2 - A simple red flower. It makes you think of someone you love. Will they wait for you? (Left on graves)
Efron Poster - A framed poster of Zac Efron. It doesn't say his name, though, so most of you probably won't know who he is anyway. (received from Santana)
A tiny tree sapling in a pot. The label on the pot reads "Malus domestica". (Planted outside)
Kept Items (bolded items are most likely to be found worn/on her person)
Eminem T-Shirt covered with Glo Tape (For Anne's Party)
Odd Telephone - An odd black telephone. If you pick it up, you can hear a chorus of voices on the other end asking for "Bobby" in a variety of different ways. They won't respond to anything you say.
Glo Tape x2 - Glow in the dark tape. Makes it easy to hit those marks during a blackout!
Compact - A small compact mirror for applying makeup on the go. This will always help you look your best!
Ruby Slippers - A pair of shiny ruby shoes. Clicking the heels together makes a very satisfying sound.
Eminem T-Shirt - A fashinably faded t-shirt featuring rapper Eminem. Rest in Peace, he was kind of old and mean to women.
Stage Hand Clothes - A set of entirely black clothing, including extremely quiet black sneakers. Meant to help you move silently and unseen in the dark.
Enchanted Rose - A rose in a glass container that glows with a faint pink light. It looks magical, but on closer inspection, it's actually battery-powered.
A Sunday Afternoon - A painting of a peaceful Sunday afternoon in the park. The brushwork on the peoples' hats is particularly impressive.
Top Hat & Cane - A black top hat with a matching cane. You could probably perform a nice dance number with them.
Doctor's Costume - The package says it's a doctor's costume, but what kind of doctor dresses like this?
Grizabella the Glamour Cat - A bedraggled and worn gray cat plushie. The tag around her neck reads "Grizabella".
Opera Glasses - A pair of old-fashioned opera glasses, like little binoculars with a stick. They look antique, but still work well.
Engagement Ring - A shimmering diamond ring! Actually, it's cubic zirconium.
Herbal Tea - A box of herbal tea. It's supposed to be very good for easing stressed vocal chords!
The King - A wooden headpiece in the shape of a lion's head with a proud mane. Wearing it makes you feel regal.
Script - A Lisa Frank binder with a rainbow unicorn on the front, holding the script for a play titled A Midsummer Nightmare About Zombies.
White Opera Gloves - A pair of long satin gloves that are perfect for a night out at the opera! This pair is a classic white - try not to stain them.
Striped Scarf - A long striped scarf. Wearing it makes you look very Bohemian.
Ladies' Shoebox - Weird, it's empty. There's a bunch of dime baggies in here though, must've been used to store drugs. (Being used to carry smaller items. She doesn't know the significance, clearly.)
Crown - A golden crown fit for a king! It's made of plastic, but it would look good onstage.
Juliet Dress - A Shakespearian-looking costume.
Rainbow Fantasy Jacket - A coat of many colors! It is red and yellow and green and brown and blue...
Green Puppet x2 - A green puppet in a gray hoodie. It seems too complex for one person.
Crystals x2 - You've found your frequency! These pretty purple crystals speak to you. What do they say? "Buy more crystals."
Crystals - You've found your frequency! These pretty yellow crystals speak to you. What do they say? "Buy more crystals."
Cheerios Uniform - A red-and-white cheerleading uniform for McKinley High.
Black Opera Gloves - A pair of long satin gloves that are perfect for a night out at the opera! These ones are black, like your soul.
Bandage Wrap x4 - A cloth bandage wrap used to treat wounds. It's bright white, so you can see it even from the back of the house.
Kinky Boots - A pair of glittering red thigh-highs. They'll definitely fit you.
Gorgeous Breastplate - A thin golden breastplate. It's made of real metal, but seems to fasten onto the body with glittery pink ribbons.
Gaf Tape - Everyone needs gaf tape.
Large White Feather - Far too large for a bird, this feather -- though perhaps once white -- has lost most of its angelic luster. (Obviously kept in a very safe place.)
Bobby Pins - There are so many yet not enough and they are Everywhere.
French Flag - A large French flag on a long flagpole. Seems like it'd be fun to wave around.
Maglite - A pen-sized flashlight. For some reason, the light inside is blue.
Don Juan Triumphant - The book and music to a show called "Don Juan Triumphant".
Razor - A silver straight razor. Holding it feels dangerous, somehow.
Milky White - The cow as white as milk - now in adorable plush doll form! There's a tiny bell hanging around her neck.
Precure Trading Card Candy - Oh, hey, it's one of those little packs of candy with trading cards of whoever all these people are in them. You might even get a holofoil!
Old Deuteronomy - A cream-colored cat plush. It has a disturbingly human-looking face and hands. The tag around it's neck says "Old Deuteronomy".
Duct Tape - This thick silver tape is the key to holding together any show!
Ukulele - A small ukulele with flowers printed on the body. It has a pretty good sound, if you've got an ear for that!
Mini Telescope - A miniature radio telescope. Cute, but kind of cheap; mind the sharp plastic bits.
Tony - A small medal on a pedestal. Congratulations; you've won!
Tossed/Consumed Items
Sparkling Cider Contains no alcohol, but a lot of bubbles. (Consumed)
Café Con Leche - A hot cup of coffee, already lightened and sweetened with condensed milk.(Consumed)
Efron Poster - A framed poster of Zac Efron. It doesn't say his name, though, so most of you probably won't know who he is anyway. (Used to advertise acting lessons, then disposed of)
Maple-Glazed Donut - Hope you don't get grounded for eating these. (Consumed)
Hot Pocket - A Limited Edition Jean Valjean Memorial Flavor hot pocket! It's fresh out of the microwave, but it will not burn your mouth because it believes in mercy and forgiveness. Apparently the memorial flavor is lamb. (Consumed)
Chocolate Strawberry Oasis Pie - A silky, bittersweet chocolate pie topped with fresh strawberries. It tastes heavenly. (Consumed)
Café Con Leche - A hot cup of coffee, already lightened and sweetened with condensed milk. (Consumed)
Pregnant Loser Self-Pitying Pie (Flambe) - A mincemeat pie with a rolled oats crust. It's...on fire?! (TOSSED IN A PANIC)
Meat Pie x2 - One meat pie, still warm. It smells delicious...? (ALSO TOSSED IN A PANIC)
The Lyin' King - A soft lion-skin rug. Take a load off, have a nap, watch out for wildebeests. (NO. BAD. TOSSED)
Iver-Johnson .32 - Rubber handles, owls stamped on the sides. It's unloaded. (Christine does not want a gun so byyyyye)
Piragua - A tasty shaved ice treat, sweetened with the flavor of meat. Perfect for a sweltering summer day. (Ew, meat shaved ice?)
Mountain Dew Red - Hey, wasn't this discontinued? Where'd this come from, the back room of Spencer's?(consumed by Jeremy at the deSQUIPening)
Bottled Water - Any good show sells concessions, and bottled water is a must! It doesn't say which mountain spring it was bottled from, though. (Consumed)
I Hate My Husband Pie x2 - A bittersweet chocolate pie drowned in caramel. It tastes delicious but it leaves you feeling a little miserable afterwards. (Consumed)
Hot Pocket - A Limited Edition Jean Valjean Memorial Flavor hot pocket! It's fresh out of the microwave, but it will not burn your mouth because it believes in mercy and forgiveness. Apparently the memorial flavor is siracha.(Partly consumed, mostly thrown out)
Piragua - A tasty shaved ice treat, sweetened with the flavor of ozone. Perfect for a sweltering summer day. (thrown out)
Be More Chill(y) - Mountain Dew flavored ice cream! (Fucking boiled. She couldn't think of a more violent way to get rid of it.)
Iver-Johnson .32 - Rubber handles, owls stamped on the sides. It's unloaded. (Thrown out)
Meat Pie - One meat pie, still warm. It smells delicious...? (Thrown out)
Chocolate Chip Cookie - Wow, this place has pretty good concessions! This cookie has the perfect distribution of chips. (Consumed)
Red Wine - A refined red wine for a quiet evening in your dressing room. The label says "Chateau Leroux". It has notes of cinnamon and spice. (brought to party)
Red Wine - A refined red wine for a quiet evening in your dressing room. The label says "Chateau Leroux". It has notes of tannins and bad. (brought to party)
Popcorn - Freshly made and smelling delicious. It's absolutely edible, but a little oversalted. (brought to party)
Box of Macarons - Perfect for sharing with friends! (brought to party)
Pheasant - Cooked to perfection for a Queen-- still on the bone. (Brought to party)
Sprite - A replacement lemon-lime soda that will not scare the children!(Brought to party)
Sandwich - A fancy sandwich. (Consumed)
Café Con Leche - A hot cup of coffee, already lightened and sweetened with condensed milk. (Consumed)
Red Vines - Share one with your new best friend. Red Vines- What the hell can't they do?! (consumed)
Iver-Johnson .32 - Rubber handles, owls stamped on the sides. It's unloaded. (She'll keep getting this and keep tossing it...)
Coca-cola - An old-fashioned glass bottle of Coke. It's still frosty! (Consumed)
Red Vines - Share one with your new best friend. Red Vines- What the hell can't they do?! (consumed)
Sprite - A replacement lemon-lime soda that will not scare the children!(Tossed, she wasn't up for rolling the dice with it)
Maple-Glazed Donut - Hope you don't get grounded for eating these. (Consumed)
Be More Chill(y) - Mountain Dew flavored ice cream! (BURNINATED)
Iver-Johnson .32 - Rubber handles, owls stamped on the sides. It's unloaded. (Tossed)
The Lyin' King - A soft lion-skin rug. Take a load off, have a nap, watch out for wildebeests. (NO. BAD. TOSSED)
Sprite - A replacement lemon-lime soda that will not scare the children!(Tossed)
Meat Pie - One meat pie, still warm. It smells delicious...? (Tossed)
Up for Grabs
Target Practice - A target from a shooting range. This one depicts a figure wearing a tall hat of some sort. There's a bullet hole through the head.
Yellow Wig - The hair as yellow as corn. It's a blonde wig of enormous length. How could anyone possibly have hair this long?
Dry Ice x2 - A lump of vaguely smoking ice in a plastic bag. Just add water and you get some very convincing fog! I wouldn't recommend putting it in your cocktail though unless you like the taste of burning. Handle with gloves.
Stabbing Knife - A knife that's perfect for stabbing someone! Except...the blade is dull, and retracts back into the handle when pressed upon. Maybe you can fake a stabbing. (3 available)
A Brick - It's just a brick. But if you get enough of them, you could make a castle out of this.
Golden Slippers x2 - The slippers as pure as gold. They're small, but someone here may be able to fit in them.
Rope - A coiled length of rope. It's just about long enough to reach from the floor to the ceiling.
Red Opera Gloves - A pair of long satin gloves that are perfect for a night out at the opera! These ones would be good at hiding stains...you know, from tomato juice or something.
Hairspray x3 - A tall can of hairspray. It can lock that style in for an entire performance!
Ruby Slippers x2 - A pair of shiny ruby shoes. Clicking the heels together makes a very satisfying sound.
Opera Glasses - A pair of old-fashioned opera glasses, like little binoculars with a stick. They look antique, but still work well.
Sandbag - A small sandbag. It only weighs a few pounds.
Tuba x3 - Dear god. Do you know how to play THIS?
Enchanted Rose x4 - A rose in a glass container that glows with a faint pink light. It looks magical, but on closer inspection, it's actually battery-powered.
Teddy Bear - A giant teddy bear, such as one might win at a carnival. It has an odd sharp smell to it, sort of like...gunpowder?
Utility Belt x3 - A belt perfect for hanging various tools and implements on. It's even got a roll of duct tape already attached!
Black Mask - A black domino mask. Great for hiding your identity.
Hair Gel x2 - A tin of hair gel. Use it to keep that 'do looking good!
Everlasting Gobstopper x5 - A single piece of hard candy. No matter how long you suck on it, it never grows smaller.
Broomstick x2 - A broomstick. It's worn in multiple places along the handle.
Absolute Tuning Fork x2 - A huge tuning fork that hides the power to destroy the entire world with resonance, if used by someone who has mastered the art of tuning. It’s also good for drying out laundry.
Red Wig x2 - A curly red wig. Wearing it makes you feel hopeful.
Beans - A leather pouch with four beans inside. They don't seem to do much.
Herbal Tea - A box of herbal tea. It's supposed to be very good for easing stressed vocal chords!
The Jewel of Valencia - The shining green jewel of the Kingdom of Valencia. (She's pretty sure this is important to someone else?)
B-Team x3 - A black and white satin letterman jacket. It has a big white B on the back! I wonder what it stands for?
Top Hat & Cane - A black top hat with a matching cane. You could probably perform a nice dance number with them.
Harmonica - A silver harmonica.
Pink's Flowers - A bouquet of Hollyhocks... that have gone pale and died a long time ago.
Dancer's Belt x2 - When you have Certain Dangling Anatomy, this will support you in all the right ways and places.
76 Trombones x2 - Seventy-six trombones fall out of the merchandise booth. Fucking rip.
The King x2 - A wooden headpiece in the shape of a lion's head with a proud mane. Wearing it makes you feel regal.
A Chess Board x3 - A simple chess board. For some reason it makes you want to run away.
Cubed Trousers x4 - A pair of inexplicably square pants.
Crown - A golden crown fit for a king! It's made of plastic, but it would look good onstage.
Old-timey Radio - A radio with a retro exterior but state-of-the-art technology inside. Unfortunately, it still doesn't work.
Doctor's Costume - The package says it's a doctor's costume, but what kind of doctor dresses like this?
A Suitcase x3 - Finally, a way to succeed in business! But do you want to try?
Trumpet x2 - It's a trumpet. Do you even know how to play this?
Black Opera Gloves - A pair of long satin gloves that are perfect for a night out at the opera! These ones are black, like your soul.
Engagement Ring - A shimmering diamond ring! Actually, it's cubic zirconium.
The Whole Being Clothed Thing - A long coat with vertical black-and-white stripes! It's covered in moss and smells kinda grody.
French Flag - A large French flag on a long flagpole. Seems like it'd be fun to wave around.
Purple Colored Contact - Just what you need to change your boring eyes to something beautiful and ideal! Unfortunately, it’s a single, not a set… One’s better than none, right?
Rainbow Fantasy Jacket - A coat of many colors! It is red and yellow and green and brown and blue...
Eminem T-shirt x2 - A fashionably faded t-shirt featuring rapper Eminem. Rest in Peace, he was kind of old and mean to women.
Efron Poster x2 - A framed poster of Zac Efron. It doesn't say his name, though, so most of you probably won't know who he is anyway.
Mama's Lunch x2 - A delicate pink lunchbox. It's contents include a protein shake, a falcon's egg and a rock.
Milky White - The cow as white as milk - now in adorable plush doll form! There's a tiny bell hanging around her neck.
Don Juan Triumphant - The book and music to a show called "Don Juan Triumphant".
Stage Hand Clothes - A set of entirely black clothing, including extremely quiet black sneakers. Meant to help you move silently and unseen in the dark.
Odd Telephone - An odd black telephone. If you pick it up, you can hear a chorus of voices on the other end asking for "Bobby" in a variety of different ways. They won't respond to anything you say.
Pheasant - Cooked to perfection for a Queen-- still on the bone.
I Hate My Husband Pie - A bittersweet chocolate pie drowned in caramel. It tastes delicious but it leaves you feeling a little miserable afterwards.
Sparkling Cider x2 - Contains no alcohol, but a lot of bubbles.
Pregnant Loser Self-Pitying Pie (Flambe) - A mincemeat pie with a rolled oats crust. It's...on fire?!
Box of Macarons - Perfect for sharing with friends!
Red Wine x2 - A unique red wine bottle for a quiet evening in your dressing room. The label says it's "Le Prévu" and has a red lipstick print next to the name.
Popcorn x2 - Freshly made and smelling delicious. It's absolutely edible, but a little oversalted.
Gel Pens - A package of glittery gel pens! (Received from Jeremy)
Red Poppy - A simple red flower. It makes you think of someone you love. Will they wait for you? (Left on Riley's grave)
Edelweiss x2 - A small white flower contained in a glass vial. It'll greet you every morning. (Left on Red's grave)
Roses x2 - A bouquet of red roses for a job well-done. (Left on graves)
Red Rose - A single red rose, such as one might offer as a token of love. (Left on graves)
Red Poppy x2 - A simple red flower. It makes you think of someone you love. Will they wait for you? (Left on graves)
Efron Poster - A framed poster of Zac Efron. It doesn't say his name, though, so most of you probably won't know who he is anyway. (received from Santana)
A tiny tree sapling in a pot. The label on the pot reads "Malus domestica". (Planted outside)
Kept Items (bolded items are most likely to be found worn/on her person)
Eminem T-Shirt covered with Glo Tape (For Anne's Party)
Odd Telephone - An odd black telephone. If you pick it up, you can hear a chorus of voices on the other end asking for "Bobby" in a variety of different ways. They won't respond to anything you say.
Glo Tape x2 - Glow in the dark tape. Makes it easy to hit those marks during a blackout!
Compact - A small compact mirror for applying makeup on the go. This will always help you look your best!
Ruby Slippers - A pair of shiny ruby shoes. Clicking the heels together makes a very satisfying sound.
Eminem T-Shirt - A fashinably faded t-shirt featuring rapper Eminem. Rest in Peace, he was kind of old and mean to women.
Stage Hand Clothes - A set of entirely black clothing, including extremely quiet black sneakers. Meant to help you move silently and unseen in the dark.
Enchanted Rose - A rose in a glass container that glows with a faint pink light. It looks magical, but on closer inspection, it's actually battery-powered.
A Sunday Afternoon - A painting of a peaceful Sunday afternoon in the park. The brushwork on the peoples' hats is particularly impressive.
Top Hat & Cane - A black top hat with a matching cane. You could probably perform a nice dance number with them.
Doctor's Costume - The package says it's a doctor's costume, but what kind of doctor dresses like this?
Grizabella the Glamour Cat - A bedraggled and worn gray cat plushie. The tag around her neck reads "Grizabella".
Opera Glasses - A pair of old-fashioned opera glasses, like little binoculars with a stick. They look antique, but still work well.
Engagement Ring - A shimmering diamond ring! Actually, it's cubic zirconium.
Herbal Tea - A box of herbal tea. It's supposed to be very good for easing stressed vocal chords!
The King - A wooden headpiece in the shape of a lion's head with a proud mane. Wearing it makes you feel regal.
Script - A Lisa Frank binder with a rainbow unicorn on the front, holding the script for a play titled A Midsummer Nightmare About Zombies.
White Opera Gloves - A pair of long satin gloves that are perfect for a night out at the opera! This pair is a classic white - try not to stain them.
Striped Scarf - A long striped scarf. Wearing it makes you look very Bohemian.
Ladies' Shoebox - Weird, it's empty. There's a bunch of dime baggies in here though, must've been used to store drugs. (Being used to carry smaller items. She doesn't know the significance, clearly.)
Crown - A golden crown fit for a king! It's made of plastic, but it would look good onstage.
Juliet Dress - A Shakespearian-looking costume.
Rainbow Fantasy Jacket - A coat of many colors! It is red and yellow and green and brown and blue...
Green Puppet x2 - A green puppet in a gray hoodie. It seems too complex for one person.
Crystals x2 - You've found your frequency! These pretty purple crystals speak to you. What do they say? "Buy more crystals."
Crystals - You've found your frequency! These pretty yellow crystals speak to you. What do they say? "Buy more crystals."
Cheerios Uniform - A red-and-white cheerleading uniform for McKinley High.
Black Opera Gloves - A pair of long satin gloves that are perfect for a night out at the opera! These ones are black, like your soul.
Bandage Wrap x4 - A cloth bandage wrap used to treat wounds. It's bright white, so you can see it even from the back of the house.
Kinky Boots - A pair of glittering red thigh-highs. They'll definitely fit you.
Gorgeous Breastplate - A thin golden breastplate. It's made of real metal, but seems to fasten onto the body with glittery pink ribbons.
Gaf Tape - Everyone needs gaf tape.
Large White Feather - Far too large for a bird, this feather -- though perhaps once white -- has lost most of its angelic luster. (Obviously kept in a very safe place.)
Bobby Pins - There are so many yet not enough and they are Everywhere.
French Flag - A large French flag on a long flagpole. Seems like it'd be fun to wave around.
Maglite - A pen-sized flashlight. For some reason, the light inside is blue.
Don Juan Triumphant - The book and music to a show called "Don Juan Triumphant".
Razor - A silver straight razor. Holding it feels dangerous, somehow.
Milky White - The cow as white as milk - now in adorable plush doll form! There's a tiny bell hanging around her neck.
Precure Trading Card Candy - Oh, hey, it's one of those little packs of candy with trading cards of whoever all these people are in them. You might even get a holofoil!
Old Deuteronomy - A cream-colored cat plush. It has a disturbingly human-looking face and hands. The tag around it's neck says "Old Deuteronomy".
Duct Tape - This thick silver tape is the key to holding together any show!
Ukulele - A small ukulele with flowers printed on the body. It has a pretty good sound, if you've got an ear for that!
Mini Telescope - A miniature radio telescope. Cute, but kind of cheap; mind the sharp plastic bits.
Tony - A small medal on a pedestal. Congratulations; you've won!
Tossed/Consumed Items
Up for Grabs
Target Practice - A target from a shooting range. This one depicts a figure wearing a tall hat of some sort. There's a bullet hole through the head.
Yellow Wig - The hair as yellow as corn. It's a blonde wig of enormous length. How could anyone possibly have hair this long?
Dry Ice x2 - A lump of vaguely smoking ice in a plastic bag. Just add water and you get some very convincing fog! I wouldn't recommend putting it in your cocktail though unless you like the taste of burning. Handle with gloves.
Stabbing Knife - A knife that's perfect for stabbing someone! Except...the blade is dull, and retracts back into the handle when pressed upon. Maybe you can fake a stabbing. (3 available)
A Brick - It's just a brick. But if you get enough of them, you could make a castle out of this.
Golden Slippers x2 - The slippers as pure as gold. They're small, but someone here may be able to fit in them.
Rope - A coiled length of rope. It's just about long enough to reach from the floor to the ceiling.
Red Opera Gloves - A pair of long satin gloves that are perfect for a night out at the opera! These ones would be good at hiding stains...you know, from tomato juice or something.
Hairspray x3 - A tall can of hairspray. It can lock that style in for an entire performance!
Ruby Slippers x2 - A pair of shiny ruby shoes. Clicking the heels together makes a very satisfying sound.
Opera Glasses - A pair of old-fashioned opera glasses, like little binoculars with a stick. They look antique, but still work well.
Sandbag - A small sandbag. It only weighs a few pounds.
Tuba x3 - Dear god. Do you know how to play THIS?
Enchanted Rose x4 - A rose in a glass container that glows with a faint pink light. It looks magical, but on closer inspection, it's actually battery-powered.
Teddy Bear - A giant teddy bear, such as one might win at a carnival. It has an odd sharp smell to it, sort of like...gunpowder?
Utility Belt x3 - A belt perfect for hanging various tools and implements on. It's even got a roll of duct tape already attached!
Black Mask - A black domino mask. Great for hiding your identity.
Hair Gel x2 - A tin of hair gel. Use it to keep that 'do looking good!
Everlasting Gobstopper x5 - A single piece of hard candy. No matter how long you suck on it, it never grows smaller.
Broomstick x2 - A broomstick. It's worn in multiple places along the handle.
Absolute Tuning Fork x2 - A huge tuning fork that hides the power to destroy the entire world with resonance, if used by someone who has mastered the art of tuning. It’s also good for drying out laundry.
Red Wig x2 - A curly red wig. Wearing it makes you feel hopeful.
Beans - A leather pouch with four beans inside. They don't seem to do much.
Herbal Tea - A box of herbal tea. It's supposed to be very good for easing stressed vocal chords!
The Jewel of Valencia - The shining green jewel of the Kingdom of Valencia. (She's pretty sure this is important to someone else?)
B-Team x3 - A black and white satin letterman jacket. It has a big white B on the back! I wonder what it stands for?
Top Hat & Cane - A black top hat with a matching cane. You could probably perform a nice dance number with them.
Harmonica - A silver harmonica.
Pink's Flowers - A bouquet of Hollyhocks... that have gone pale and died a long time ago.
Dancer's Belt x2 - When you have Certain Dangling Anatomy, this will support you in all the right ways and places.
76 Trombones x2 - Seventy-six trombones fall out of the merchandise booth. Fucking rip.
The King x2 - A wooden headpiece in the shape of a lion's head with a proud mane. Wearing it makes you feel regal.
A Chess Board x3 - A simple chess board. For some reason it makes you want to run away.
Cubed Trousers x4 - A pair of inexplicably square pants.
Crown - A golden crown fit for a king! It's made of plastic, but it would look good onstage.
Old-timey Radio - A radio with a retro exterior but state-of-the-art technology inside. Unfortunately, it still doesn't work.
Doctor's Costume - The package says it's a doctor's costume, but what kind of doctor dresses like this?
A Suitcase x3 - Finally, a way to succeed in business! But do you want to try?
Trumpet x2 - It's a trumpet. Do you even know how to play this?
Black Opera Gloves - A pair of long satin gloves that are perfect for a night out at the opera! These ones are black, like your soul.
Engagement Ring - A shimmering diamond ring! Actually, it's cubic zirconium.
The Whole Being Clothed Thing - A long coat with vertical black-and-white stripes! It's covered in moss and smells kinda grody.
French Flag - A large French flag on a long flagpole. Seems like it'd be fun to wave around.
Purple Colored Contact - Just what you need to change your boring eyes to something beautiful and ideal! Unfortunately, it’s a single, not a set… One’s better than none, right?
Rainbow Fantasy Jacket - A coat of many colors! It is red and yellow and green and brown and blue...
Eminem T-shirt x2 - A fashionably faded t-shirt featuring rapper Eminem. Rest in Peace, he was kind of old and mean to women.
Efron Poster x2 - A framed poster of Zac Efron. It doesn't say his name, though, so most of you probably won't know who he is anyway.
Mama's Lunch x2 - A delicate pink lunchbox. It's contents include a protein shake, a falcon's egg and a rock.
Milky White - The cow as white as milk - now in adorable plush doll form! There's a tiny bell hanging around her neck.
Don Juan Triumphant - The book and music to a show called "Don Juan Triumphant".
Stage Hand Clothes - A set of entirely black clothing, including extremely quiet black sneakers. Meant to help you move silently and unseen in the dark.
Odd Telephone - An odd black telephone. If you pick it up, you can hear a chorus of voices on the other end asking for "Bobby" in a variety of different ways. They won't respond to anything you say.
Pheasant - Cooked to perfection for a Queen-- still on the bone.
I Hate My Husband Pie - A bittersweet chocolate pie drowned in caramel. It tastes delicious but it leaves you feeling a little miserable afterwards.
Sparkling Cider x2 - Contains no alcohol, but a lot of bubbles.
Pregnant Loser Self-Pitying Pie (Flambe) - A mincemeat pie with a rolled oats crust. It's...on fire?!
Box of Macarons - Perfect for sharing with friends!
Red Wine x2 - A unique red wine bottle for a quiet evening in your dressing room. The label says it's "Le Prévu" and has a red lipstick print next to the name.
Popcorn x2 - Freshly made and smelling delicious. It's absolutely edible, but a little oversalted.
